Nighttrain to Lisbon (Final)

I already did two posts before about the book
'Nighttrain to Lisbon',
since i am so fascinated by it.

I finally finished it.
I was a little frightened to finish it,
since i always feel a little sad when something so good,

Maybe some of you are a little bored by these kind of posts.
I understand that.
Nevertheless i wanted to share some last words
from the book.
Just because they touched me deeply,
and i hope they will do the same to you.

To make the post more interesting,
i used the gorgeous photography of Lieke.
I have no words for her talent.
Just look....

There are things that are
too big
for us people.
Pain, loneliness, death,
but also beauty, eminence and happiness.
Because of this,
we have created religion.
What happens when we lose that?
Those things are still too big for us.
What stays with us,
is the poetry of our individual lives.
Is that strong enough,
to carry us?

When is someone himself?
When he was like he always was?
The way he saw himself?
Or the way it was when,
the burning lava of thoughts and feelings
burried every lie, mask and self deception?

The fear that life
would be unfinished.
The consciousness that you couldn't be
what you wanted to be
so badly.

Due to intimacy,
we are attached to each other.
The connection is compelling:
she requires exclusivity.
Sharing is betraying.

He had lived in a purgatory of doubt,
harassed by the fear to overlook himself.
"It was in Coimbra, on a hard seat in the lecture room,
when i realised:
I can't step out."

Every time i am too late,
no matter how quickly the light of the observation
rushes behind the things.
Everything is always,
already completed.
I am never there.

Maybe the train rides in a circle,
without anyone noticing,
even the train driver.

everything i see when i wake up
annoys me.
Both internal and external.

They didn't understand,
that it wasn't about Lisbon,
but about him: Amadeu.
His homesickness wasn't the longing for
what he knew and what he loved.
It was something much deeper,
something that touched him in his essence:
the longing to be able to escape back,
to behind the controlled embankments
of his inner self,
that protected him from the dangerous fires
and the treacherous floodings of his soul.

When we had realised,
that with everything we do and experience,
we are just quicksand...

When we had realised,
that despite all our effort,
it is just a case of pure luck,
whether we succeed in something or not,
when we apparently realised that with everything we do,
are quicksand for ourselves:
what happens to all those wellknown
and worshipped feelings such as
pride, remorse and shame?

The others are your court.

He considered melancholy
as a timeless experience
and he thought that melancholy.
was one of the most valuable things,
humans knew.
"Because it shows the fragileness of people."

I lay next to her,
i hear her breath,
i feel her warmth,
and i am terribly lonely.
What is that? What?

When others abstain us from their
devotion, respect and admission,
why can't we just say to them:
I don't need all of that,
i have myself.
Isn't it an horrible form of un-freedom,
that we can't do that?
Doesn't it makes us slaves to the others?
Which feelings can you insert against it,
as barrier, as bastion?
Of which nature should the
inner freedom be?

Since then,
i know how people are connected
and intertwined with one another
till their deepest depths,
without them having the slightest presumption
that they are.

Thank you so much Lieke,
for allowing me to use your photography on my blog!

(All words are translated by me from the Dutch book,
so you may notice some English mistakes. Tell me, so i can learn from it.)


vintageveggie said...

i shall never get tired of your posts. the photography is beautiful!

Dallas Shaw said...

i need to know more about this photographer


natalie said...

I just have to say, you have a beautiful eye and I am constantly inspired by your posts. Have you ever thought of being an artistic directer?

Willow Rain Jade said...

I really want to read this now...
sounds amazing

i love these pictures, they are so amazing!


PS... ah, yes thank you, it was so worth it! even though now I am exhausted! although part of it is from the concussion, so...

anywhere I lay my head said...

Lovely pictures, lovely words. It made me think about stuff that I think I need to think about if that made sense ^^

Mandarine D'Italie said...

Thanks for the nice journey into this magic world.....it's so true books allow you to live different lives........metaphorically....

Ashley L. said...

Such beautiful words and images!

trishiekoh said...

After reading this post, I was so intrigued i googled the book. I think i need to read it NOW!

Light and Writing said...

Wonderful photographer choice! And I will definitely have to pick up this book! Thank you, Thank you!

melange muse said...

WOW! These pictures are so amazingly beautiful.
I think I will have to read this book now too!

Endofmarch said...

Wonderful all around. The words and the pictures. Thank you for sharing all of these.
There is a sadness and also hope behind those words. they feel slow and lingers in my mind. I like it a lot.
Thank you again :)


luyi said...

i love this post so so so much. Apart from your usual sense of beauty, the book recommended by you is enchanting. I've ordered one already because of you.

Anonymous said...

awww...this is so pretty! im a little busy right now, so im ashamed to say that i just skimmed this, but what i read was beautiful. and i'll email you soon about the google ad things. although, i'll have to warn you that no one clicks on them DDD:

Anonymous said...

this is really gorgeous. i MUST buy the book now.

Karen Rae said...

Thank you so much for the time and thoughtfulness you put into your postings. Reading these words have been comforting, I need to find this book. Thank you xox

Teabagstains said...

it was beautiful. i loved...

He considered melancholy
as a timeless experience
and he thought that melancholy.
was one of the most valuable things, humans knew.
"Because it shows the fragileness of people."

beautiful post and photography

Missa said...

Wow Mila, just beautiful, excellent finale to your Nighttrain posts (which I've loved btw). Lieke's photography is so amazing and fits so perfectly with the text. Very inspiring, I love the idea of "the poetry of our individual lives" :)

Indie.Tea said...

How beautiful the images and the words are!!!
I *heart* your blog.

Un samedi... said...

Vraiment toujours aussi doux ton blog. bravo, je suis fan.

Marian said...

Darling thank you for a beautiful post! the images go perfectly with the text,so beautifully written.

thank you for telling me about the neet magazine. I didnt know i was in it.was it in print or online?
muah x

Repa said...

Your blog is so inspiring.

I'm ill, and I don't feel really good because of that, but you just made my day. And I feel a bit better. Thank you.

I really want to read that book, even the name of it is somehow so lovely.

MandyMaus said...

ik vind jouw blog prachtig!! Ik denk mijn favoriet. :)

Rosie Posie said...

hello beautiful you,

you inspire me endlessly, you do you do!! and my goodness, your english is absolutely perfect :)

i apologise for my absense. i have been here, silently and fleetingly, in moments to spare in all the choas. i have been reading you delightful and astoundingly beautiful blog posts, before dashing off to do the next piece of work that must be done.
i am so excited about you coming to London, ever so close to me!! as for where to go, i adore covent garden, and all the cobbled streets surrounding it and the tiny market salls. you meet such interesting people and find such beauty!!

thank you so much for your comment on my last post, and for offering your response to my question. oh, you sweetheart with rosy cheeks!!! you have helped in my artwork so thank you ever so much :)

you are such a prescious soul

lots of love

Anonymous said...

Ooooh, dear you, een hele blog met mij! Mila, je wilt niet weten hoe gevleid ik me voel. Jeetje, dit betekent zo veel voor me, mijn favoriete blog, en, ik sta erop. Ik!!! Dank je wel keer 653754. Misschien kun je mijn flickr-link erbij plaatsen, zodat mensen eens naar mijn hele 'portfolio' kunnen kijken. Maar dit hoeft niet eens, want, dit is ook al meer dan geweldig. Merciiii!

Fym said...

"What stays with us, is the poetry of our individual lives." Oh oh Mila I'm simply loss of words to describe how beautiful your post is this time! Beautiful is too...small for this.

I'd love to read this Dutch book, any idea if there are any English-translated ones available?

Margarita said...

Your posts are so beautiful. There is an English version of the book which I picked up not too long ago. I have only begun to read it and it is beautiful.

Marguerite said...

Oh you have to come to Portugal! I don't live in Lisbon, although I go there quite often. I haven't read the book yet (I admit I wanted to because of its title).


Maria C said...

Your blog is a breath of fresh air.
I have missed it to MUCH!

FYI the drawing that Danny drew of you rocks :) congrats you deserve it babe!

Anonymous said...

hello beautiful mila! no no no, not at all bored with these posts. this one is incredibly gorgeous. it makes me want to read that book so badly! and also i must check out more of lieke's work, it is so beautiful. everything is just a little off, dreamy both in beautiful and in odd ways.

Heart in a cage said...

Ik vind zulke posts helemaal niet saai! Maar mooi<3 Ik moet het boek ook maar eens een keer gaan lezen. Ik lees nu The Shadow Of The Wind van dezelfde schrijver. Ook erg leuk maar ik kom er helaas telkens maar niet aan toe...

Mirthe said...

Echt heel erg mooi! Ik moet hem ook maar eens gaan lezen. Was hij in het Nederlands mooi? Is dit een Franse schrijver? Want ik lees uit principe meestal het origineel van het boek (als ik de taal kan tenminste).

Twobreadsplease said...

Thank you so much for the comment, you are far too kind :) Ohh, I love books that are so good you don't want them to end. The last few words that you've posted up here are beautiful and I love the photography too. xx

Ida said...

I love your blog, it's so wonderful and calm and lovely!

alexandra said...

ohhhhhhhh! these are beautiful! xoxo

Anonymous said...

Beautiful photos and I'm very grateful you shared some quotes, I actually added this book to my wishlist after your last post about it. Beautiful words.

cras4 said...

cool, all of it, and I like your music choice too

Megan T. said...

that is the most beautiful ting i have come across... no words- just love... thank you much
xx, Megan

Rosanne said...

Love your pics!

Kasia said...

Your site make a strong impression on me. I'm from Polen:)and i think that you should know, you're make me happy. Thank you:-)
P.S. I adore "Nighttrain to Lisbon"

indigotangerine said...

one word...beautiful!


Matilda Iréne Linnéa said...

I really like this photographer! Just amazing photos.
I'm gonna have to read that book aswell i think. :)
Sorry for not commenting so much lately, i've been having trouble getting through to your blog! I don't know why...

heleen db said...

Oh wat een lieve comment(s)! Kvoel me al wat beter, deze middag toch nog voor een halve dag naar school kunnen gaan - en na morgen is het alweer weekend! Hopelijk heb jij ook fijne weekendplannen.

Ik ga morgen eens in de bib zien voor Nachttrein naar Lissabon, het klinkt inderdaad echt fantastisch.
kus x

Hayley said...

this post was intensely and insanely amazing. i always look forward to your posts. i absolutely adore your blog and words cannot even explain how amazing it is!

Lia said...

sifra! i am basically up during the wee hours redecorating my whole apartment because of your wonderful post. thanks for always casting so much inspiration, love, and beauty into this world. LOVE, lia

ashley said...

you made my eyes water~
this post was too beautiful, and Lieke's photographs are stunning,
hope you had a wonderful week-end honey,
x ashley

thais said...

Hi! I'm from Brazil and my english is not so good... I just wanted to thanks for such beautiful words!!! Perfect poems....

Um beijo


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